Writing to parents:

“Looking at the emotional context of your child’s life opens up a whole new way of seeing and feeling what both of you are doing. For example, so much is involved in even the simplest game. Peekaboo can be rich with possibilities. Consider this: A round of peekaboo doesn’t just happen. Someone has to start it. At first, you did, of course. But why? What were you feeling when you started this intimate little game? Playful? Irritated and needing to distract yourself with a little magic? In need of some reassurance that you matter to the little guy? That you will always “be there for him” when the hands open over the eyes? That we will “always be there for you?” Once it is started, then what? How long do you play? You have to read your child’s response. If it’s fun, you’ll both keep at it. If not, at least one of you will quit. Do you still try to reconnect and save the game? Your child’s reaction matters as much as yours. This is a short list of what could be at work here, but there is always something. And the emotional “something” matters a great deal, because that is how the event gets remembered. The way it feels to be together and how both feel is that togetherness matters every bit as much as the child’s neuromuscular ability to open and close his eyes at will, smile, make eye contact, blow spittle bubbles, or giggle. This will only make sense to you if you understand that your child can feel many things long before he can tell you in words, and that understanding emotional milestones benefits both of you enormously.” Source: Pruett, Kyle. Me, Myself and I (1999), “The Importance of Being Two” pp. 10-11. Goddard Press, New York.

For many reasons infants and young children need warm, responsive and consistent caregivers. As young children learn to trust and anticipate that their basic needs will be met, their young brains are developing with the help of nurturing relationships that buffer potentially stressful experiences. Infants and young children need dependable adults in order to grow and learn. Positive nurturing relationships in the early years form the groundwork for the development of later relationships. Babies are learning ways to be soothed and are establishing regulation and predictable cycles of eating and sleeping. These routines help a young infant learn that a familiar caregiver will respond promptly when the child feels distressed. Learning that they can count on being cared for helps infants build a sense of security. The relationship a provider has with the parent or caregiver is also important. A warm and responsive relationship leads to a trusting relationship where both the provider and the parent/caregiver communicate openly about the needs and concerns for the child. Together they will guide the child through the day-to-day experiences, as well as developmental milestones.

Nurturing relationships do matter!